I, Wish
by JemnJeevas
Summary: "I'm going crazy aren't I? I'm losing my mind. He's not even real and he never has been!" Wish was having a hard time distinguishing her imagination from reality as she was slowly losing her sanity, along with her little 'friend'
1. Crazy

The only weight heavier than the slam Wish applied to the door behind her, was the weight of the entire world crushing down on her shoulders and threatening to snap them. Wish forced her entire body weight directly upon herself, holding herself by her strained arms as she pressed her aching hands against the dark woodwork. Anyone would think she was trying to mould her hands into the tall barrier shutting her out from the rest of the world. If they could see her, that is. Right now, she was the only one that could see herself.

She glared into the mirror in front of her, half expecting the other red and grey eyed girl to crumble right in front of her own eyes. But the eyes that stared back at her were just as angry as she was. Just as fed up as hers. Just as hurt. Yet, just as empty. Those eyes were just as hidden from the rest of the world as Beyond really was to her.

She was the only one who could see them.

Oh. Beyond?

He's not real, not really.

He's just the guy that Wish turns to for comfort in her dreams and in her imagination, because in reality, she has no-one. Not one single person left anymore that hasn't hurt her or broken her trust. Could it be that not one person in this world was made just for her? Was she the exception to that rule 'there's somebody out there for everyone?'

All you have to do is find them, right?

For Wish, Beyond would be that guy, if he were real.

The girl slowly removed her shaking arms from the door, turning her body away when she felt safer and leaning her back upon the combination of wood and glass. She jumped slightly, muffling the slight whimper that almost escaped her lips as her eyes failed her, displaying to her an inaccurate and terrifying perception of what was just a burning candle in her dimly lit bathroom, standing tall on the glass shelf buried into the wall. Her mind had been playing tricks on her a lot recently, imagining people around her throwing objects in her direction when in fact they were just waving in a form of greeting. Ducking in shock at the sudden gunshots or other direct threats in her presence whenever a loud noise could be heard close to her. She couldn't turn a corner that someone else was turning without freezing up completely startled, or turn around to someone standing nearby without pulling a face that could only be described as replicating somebody who was having a heart attack. You had to hand it to her; the girl was a nervous wreck.

Wish slid down the door behind her with ease, sitting down on the cold tiles beneath her and taking this time alone to make any attempt she could to relax.

She ran a cold, pale hand through her black and blue hair, her scalp reacting pleasantly to the sensation as strands of light and dark mixed together like black ink being poured into a beautiful blue ocean. Wishing her mind was just as calm, she couldn't help but blame it on herself that it wasn't. She was delusional after all; imagining scenarios in her head so much that it felt like they were real. Trying to tear herself from reality at every possible opportunity that seemed safe to do so. It wouldn't surprise her if she was hallucinating her entire life by this point.

She often questioned just how much of her dreams could actually be real. More recently, scenarios would occur in her dreams and she'd wake, only to find her entire day pan out with scenes from her unconscious visions taking place in the real world. Quotes from conversations would be spoken by even the most unlikely suspects she came across throughout her period of being awake. The first dream she ever remembered about Beyond, however, was clear in her mind now, just as clearly as it was when she had first awoken from it, like a memorable event from her past...


	2. Don't Call Me That

'Wish was back once again as her younger self, standing in the never-ending, old fashioned halls of Wammy's House, an orphanage for gifted children. Although, the only gifted thing about Wish was her eyes. Those grey mist filled orbs, one in particular clouded by a blood red stain that tainted the unique but normal shade. She could see names; the names of everyone and anyone she met hovered above their head in fuzzy red lettering, visible only to her. A secret talent that she had clarified long ago after confirming the identities of those she had met. Apparently, her red eye was only visible to her too. When she had pointed out how weird her eyes were, she was met with just as weird a reaction from the people she had told, who were taken aback in confusion or laughter, simply responding with comments similar to 'grey isn't that unusual of an eye colour.'

This was, until she met one particular boy.

She made her way down the airy hallway, bright wooden textures coated with a glossy tint from the sunlight surrounded her as her footsteps barely left a sound underneath her. She passed another child briefly on her way, scanning over their name as she walked by. 'L Lawliet' was his name. He wore battered faded jeans and a long sleeved white t-shirt that was surely too big for him. His hair a shaggy yet thick dishevelment of darkness, yet straight and sticking out at all angles in an artsy mess. He met her gaze for only a second, deep yet empty black eyes looked tired and worn out as if he were a living corpse, yet he intently focused on her, if only for a moment. Wish could have sworn that in that moment he had figured out just about everything about her in that split second of their eyes meeting, although if that were the case, he didn't show it at all. He didn't even react, just averted his eyes forward and continued walking with the overly slouched posture of his, hands shoved into large baggy pockets.

Quickly finding her way into the common room, she soon discovered it was empty, save for one young child standing hunched over against the wall. A young boy, one of which she almost did a double take on and forced herself not to look back in Ls direction to compare the two.

"Something wrong?" a deep voice suddenly appeared, causing her to notice the shocked expression that had apparently been on her face for some time as it sunk in and she did her best to rectify it back to neutral. The boy who was leaning against the wall now stood directly in front of her, tall and mysterious, head tilted slightly and a curious brow raised, although he carried the same bored expression as the boy she had just passed. She stared at his eyes almost dumbfounded and lost in them, only Wish wasn't lost in the beauty of them or the similarity to Ls. No, she had lost herself in the similarity to her own, the deep red shade that poisoned her own eye, was spread across both of his as the only colour.

"Um... no." Wish frowned nervously, ignoring the analysis she had made of what she could only guess was a carbon copy of this 'L' in some way.

"Hmm... not too sure I believe you but I'll let that one slide." the boy responded instantly, seemingly unperturbed by the absent look in her eyes as he exhaled a sharp breath, the corner of his mouth rising slightly to indicate his amusement. "So... new kid... what's your name?" he continued to ask.

Wish looked him in the eye for some time, at first wondering if his question was a joke as she guessed that he had the same ability as herself. Her would-be red eye covered by long strands of hair in front of it. This was the only difference between Beyond, she read his name, and L. Beyond's eyes were the same garnet shade as her own. Although, if he was anything like her, then nobody could see their true colour either. So, why could she see his eyes? Was it because hers were red too?

She took back control of herself, refusing to draw any more attention to the fact she could see their colour and what she was furiously debating in her head. Forcing herself not to react with wide eyes, instead swallowing as she recalled his question and stammered the painful truth to him.

"I...I uh... I don't have... a name." she admitted, her voice shy and quiet. Being an orphan, she wasn't lying. She quite literally was never given a name to go by. Although, undoubtedly, she did have one, she just didn't know it because her own name was invisible to her, much like how Beyond's death date was invisible to him.

Speaking of Beyond, seemingly disinterested with this information, he raised a thumb to his mouth, appearing to ponder something as his eyes distantly wandered above her face.

"Hm..." he ran his eyes over her, giving nothing away as to his opinion of the girl but still evidently judging her. "...you shall be known, as Wish. Or, 'W' for short. We all have letters here. You can address me as B." he continued nonchalantly.

"B... huh... what's your real name?" she stared at him inquisitively, thinking over his choice of name for her. Wish? Was that her real name? It didn't sound like it could be, but what choice did she have. Wish sounded nice and it was something to go by, so she didn't question it so much, but rather just accepted it.

"My real name?" his smile grew wider now, but not a happy smile. It was more of a forced expression, with a twisted hatred and a hidden reason hidden behind it. "That would be Backup." he stared and spoke confidently, and even though he kept his tone dull and emotionless, the disgust he tried to hide seeped through in his words. She knew it wasn't his real name anyway. He was watching her every move for a response, staring heavily into her eyes. Wish grabbed at her sleeves, pulling them down over her now balled up fists as she recognised the small glimmer of hurt that had crossed his eyes. She'd only just met the guy and figured that he had so much to hide.

"But... B is not for Backup." she spoke softly, carefully, and at her words he seemed to warm up to her a little, yet looked as confused as he did happy.

"As much as I wish it wasn't... it is." he spoke bluntly as if his words were final, his cold stare was back just as quickly as it had disappeared. Wish frowned, a hurt expression barely visible on her features as she double checked his name just to make sure she hadn't misread. He watched and appeared skeptical of her.

"...Beyond." the word came out slowly as she read his name aloud, almost in a whisper as the jet haired boys eyes widened as much as hers almost did upon setting eyes on his.

"...H-how?" he was taken aback but remained calm once again.

At this moment, Wish was somewhat happy that her hair was in her face, as she debated whether or not to move it from her eye. Would Beyond be able to see that it was red, just like she could see that his eyes were red. He could be wearing contacts for all she knew, he could have just guessed her name. Maybe he was literally just looking past her before. Maybe...

Wish raised her hand to her cheek, her hand trembling as she pushed her fingers through her sapphire locks, resting her hand only when her fringe was tucked neatly behind her right ear. What harm could it do? She had looked down almost to the point of her eyes being closed, before she slowly flicked her eyes up to meet his again.

Time seemed to stop as Beyond simply stood in silence for what seemed like a lifetime, the sound of the clock's ticking suddenly coming into focus in Wish's ears.

"Well... that certainly explains a lot!" he spoke nonchalantly, restarting time again as if he was suddenly unfazed.

"You... can see?" she raised her eyebrows curiously, eager for an answer.

"If by 'see' you mean that devil-like shade in your eye similar to my own, then yes, Wishbone... I can see." he stated simply, smirk returning upon his face as if he'd never met anyone similar to him in that way before.

'Wishbone huh?' she rolled her eyes at the nickname, gently laughing it off. She was cut off when he looked at her seriously.

"You're probably wondering... if Wish is your real name." he spoke in a bored tone, averting his gaze. "I'm afraid, I shall never tell you."

Wish assumed his reasoning for saying this was more to do with confirming the fact that he could in fact see her real name too. She decided that either way, she would never know and he probably wasn't likely to tell her. If everyone went by letters at this institution, it would be easier for B to give her a made up name rather than to risk telling her what her real name actually was. If she didn't already know it, it would be far less dangerous to have it given to her, considering that everyone's identity apparently was to remain hidden. Given her conclusion, she replied;

"No, actually... I'm just wondering why you decided to give me that name." she folded her arms and stared at him, awaiting him to look back.

"You're smart." was his blunt response when he finally snapped his eyes back to her.

She smiled, half offended that he didn't give her an answer but half taking in the compliment.

"So are you." she admitted. He must of figured out her reasoning for not asking after all. Her mind drifted and she wondered, was he the only person that could see her name? He could be her only opportunity to ever know. And if so, then what did him having two red eyes mean? Could he see more information that she could?

"So... if you don't mind me asking, why do you have two?" she decided to ask, obviously referring to his eyes but not wanting to speak this aloud in case of anyone overhearing.

"Actually, I do mind you asking... that's for me to know..." he looked above her head again, focusing, then frowning, then smiling. "...and for you to... well, not know!" So it was more information? His smile turned to a full on smirk as he once again dismissed her question and skirted around it with a harsh response. Wish was growing rather irritated by his tendency to avoid questions and pouted, looking away from him in annoyance.

'Beyond Birthday.' she focused on his name, it was a strange name but she kinda liked it. It had an odd yet charming ring to it.

"Whatever 'Yondy." she smirked back, pretending not to care and coming up with her own little name for him. After all, this was her childish thirteen year old self meeting Beyond here. "I'm gonna go to my room now." she spoke with no emotion in her voice.

"..." Beyond watched as she turned to leave the room. "As you wish..." and if Wish would have turned around at that moment she would have noticed the smug smile on his face at his half-hearted attempt to mock her. "...oh and by the way..."

"Hmm?" wish mumbled paying about half of her attention to him.

"It's B to you, kiddo!" he spoke in a dominant voice that sounded like a warning.

Wish narrowed her eyes slightly at the borderline-threatening words. She didn't take kindly to his borderline insult of a comment.

"Whatever... B-Yondy." she spoke loudly, holding back a laugh that threatened to spill out of her mouth and continued walking, only to not have to try so hard to contain that laughter when she felt her hair being pulled as an aggressive hand yanked her backwards.

"Do you wanna say it any louder, I don't think the world can hear you?" he didn't give her chance to answer his rhetorical sarcasm. "I mean it Wishbone. Do not use my REAL name! Got it?" he tugged harder, tightening his grip.

She tilted her head back, feeling his unsteady breathing against her scalp and turned her head the best she could to make eye contact with him again, focusing on his expression. Yeah, he looked pretty damn serious.

"So Wish isn't my real name..." she muttered as if saying it more to herself than anyone. "Ahhh... ah... okay, okay... I got it." she cut herself off, feeling the burning sensation on her scalp once again as she fought to remain upright, glaring back at him with the same serious face as him as she took a step back toward him to keep her balance.

Beyond waited, maintaining eye contact for a moment before letting go of her in a harsh manner and dramatically throwing his arm back down by his side and standing tall. His face neutral again like someone had just pressed a switch on him and he watched her leave, hiding the smirk as she saw how he'd shaken her up so easily.

"See you around... B." and although he had just assaulted the poor younger female, Wish had developed a strange respect for him, even smiling slightly at obeying his instruction to call him B. Not like she has much choice, however.

Beyond stood still as she left, and off she went to discover the rest of the house, although when she turned back to walk down the hall, there was no hall. Looking back over her shoulder, there was no B either. She felt her entire face warm up as everything around her become smothered in smouldering bright flares of orange light, dancing shades of warmth surrounded her as the smell of smoke entered her lungs. Loud deafening sounds of the structure around her falling suddenly became more and more distant and her failing vision blurred to white. Fear was set inside her and alas, she woke up.'


	3. Just Another Day

Wish had awoken to the warmth of her own bed, wrapped up in the perfect temperature in a mass of covers, surrounded by soft warm pillows that her head had sunken easily into. That was, until she discovered she was back in her own room. Her eyes snapped open and she gradually took in her usual environment, empty pale white walls towered above her like huge blank sheets, a bookcase rested in the corner at one end of her bed and a simple wooden closet stood tall on her right keeping the door company beside it. It was a simple, not very interesting room.

Although something seemed even duller about it now that she was awake from her dream of making a new friend. She was alone, and now that fact felt like it had been reinforced even more so. Nobody ever really spoke to her anymore here. She had a few friends to start with but, they all eventually left her one way or another and she kept her distance a lot. Wish began not expecting very much from other people and learnt quickly that she was safer this way. No-one to slow her down and betray her, and only herself to rely on.

Information gradually forced its way through her mind like a sieve as her memory served to remind her that she had classes today. Her mouth widening in a lazy yawn, she stretched both arms out beside her and kicked the covers further down her legs, her body rotating at a weird angle as she read the time on the clock from an upside down view. It read 08:03, she exhaled sharply. Noting that she had less than an hour she relaxed herself from stretching and fell back down onto the mattress, wasting no time to think before she'd grabbed onto the sides of her desk and pushed herself upright, swinging her legs out in front of her. Her feet meeting the cold wooden ground, she dragged herself into the bathroom. From there Wish regrettably glanced in the mirror, scowling at her messy hair and half lidded eyes, but it wasn't long before she found herself in the shower in an attempt to fix both of those things.

Shutting the door behind her, the running sound of water emerged above her, mercilessly pouring itself over her hair and body. As she threw her head back, soaking herself completely in the hot liquid, she became lost in thought as she contemplated her dream.

'What did it even mean? In real life I would have never made friends with someone just like that, especially not someone like him, and what was he doing here in this building on his own? Perhaps, most confusing of all here is the fact that everyone I came across looked the same. Well, Lawliet and Beyond both had the same appearance apart from one of the boys having red eyes. Was it something to do with how I have red eyes? Maybe it's a sign that I won't ever have any friends as long as I do. Beyond had red eyes though and he approached me, plus he was somewhat co-operative.'

Wish recalled how he had pulled her hair and been mean to her, and how L had stared into her eyes like there was something he knew that she didn't. After laughing at her ridiculous thought that she could only become friends with red-eyed people, she went on trying to convince herself of ways in which her dream made sense, even though logically she knew dreams didn't have that much meaning, but it was fun to think about and theorise. Besides, her dreams were the only real place that she found any company and spoke much with anyone. Beyond was weird though, she had found him interesting despite his odd behaviour.

Wish turned the lever back on the shower, restricting any more water flow and she wrung her hair out, tossing a towel around herself as wet footsteps temporarily marked the floor back to her bedroom. She plugged in a hairdryer and set about putting on some clothes.

Two things were true however. One, was that she really could see people's names because one of her eyes was indeed red, and two; she really was an orphan and actually didn't know her real name. Although, from moving in here she was always referred to as W, which she speculated to have been taken from her birth name. However, she often wondered why this information was never told to her, settling on the conclusion that it was for her own protection. 'Wish' was a nice name, and for the longest time she had been asked to create an alias for herself here, but had never quite decided on anything that she thought suited her.

'Wish'. The word washed through her mind like a steady wave, the air silently echoing the sounds as she listened to it, replaying it over and over as she considered it.

Something about it just made sense to her, so she decided she would speak to her caretaker after classes were over and put forward her suggestion for this new name she would potentially go by. Wish threw a grey long sleeved top over her head, watching as the material slipped down to her jeans, briefly admiring the fact that the two different colours were only a few shades apart.

After a final check around her room, she picked up the relevant books, satisfied with having 5 minutes to arrive on time downstairs and closed the door behind her. She started making her way to the first lesson of the day, feet dropping step by step as she descended the creaky wooden stairs, her hand trailing the banister with her arm stretched out beside her. She knew this place like the back of her hand by now. Wish made her way down the hallway, half expecting to see L walk past her again before shaking the thought and smiling to herself about how impossible that would be. She trudged past the common room and into the next room where she shoved open the door to her first two hours of lectures.


End file.
